When did speed become so important in our lives? When did the measure of a successful day become about how much we got done or how busy we were? It seems that sometimes, being busy gets worn like a badge of honour.
Since having made a conscious decision to create more space in my days, I still stumble when someone asks me the question – “How are you? Are you busy?” – as if how I am is intimately connected with how busy I am. If I’m not busy – does this mean I’m not well or not happy?
It turns out it takes quite a bit of courage to take the less busy option, to take life at a pace that’s anything less than the fast lane because, generally, that’s where we’re expected to be – by society, by friends and colleagues, and perhaps most of all, by ourselves.
It’s easy to look externally, to blame the culture we live in or the company we where we work for how much we run from one thing to another. However, we need to look internally, to ourselves, for the real answers. How much of our need to be busy – filling the diary with back to back meetings, calls or appointments, needing to be physically or even just mentally in 4 different places at once – is created out of an unconscious (or maybe conscious) belief that this is how you feel or look indispensable, of value, or worthy?
Of course, some of this behaviour comes from our ‘always on’ digital age where gadgets are accessible 24/7 and working across time zones has become the norm. And the point is still a similar one – how are we allowing our circumstances to dictate our behaviour patterns and how often do we make a conscious choice to create some boundaries – to switch the phone off, not to check email, to keep some time free for family, friends and most important of all – us.
Making choices that put us first might challenge ingrained belief and behaviour patterns, however ,to do so can be very rewarding. When was the last time you said ‘no’ to that request to do something and ‘yes’ to some ‘me’ time? How often does your mental saboteur get its way and convince you of being too selfish, or that you would be judged poorly?
To be still and quiet, even for one minute, is so nurturing to our minds. Like our physical body, our mind needs to rest – to settle now and then. The groundswell of popularity in mindfulness, meditation, yoga, etc., indicates just how much people are drawn to finding ways that they can relax and restore their weary minds.
Maybe meditation is not for you, or you are not ready to get on a yoga mat, however I encourage you to find ways in which to slow down – to give yourself the gift of allowing some spaciousness and downtime and bring some balance to your day. Your mind (and your body) will thank you for it.
Sarah Matthews is a Director of Mobius Coaching and Development and owner of the Mobius Retreat Centre on Heir Island, West Cork.
